117. Memorial Day 2013

Today is Memorial day.  The kids, Kristin, Matthew, Megan and the dogs all came over.  We really had a blast in the pool.

I want to have them over as much as I can because I know I won't be here much longer.  I really don't think I'll miss the house too much.  There's been so much sadness here that I've wanted to move for a very long time.

For now I'll just enjoy the opportunity to have my kids here with me and be happy.

116. Mark Still Blames Me For Everything

I brought our home safe in to work today.  The dial is an electronic lock.  Mark had changed the combination so I couldn't get in.  I was quite sure there was nothing really in there, but decided I needed to check.

The guys said there was no way to open it without drilling it open.  What luck, we are a locksmith company.  So, Megan helped me put it in my car and I brought it in.

We decided to try every single combo we could before drilling: birthdays, anniversaries, etc.  We must have had 30 different codes to try.  The lock "locks you out" after 3 tries for 10 minutes.  The guys suggested I call Len and see if he had the combination.   If you remember, Mark had told Len how to break into our house the day after he was arrested.  The guys figured that maybe he gave Len the combination too.

115. My Phone Conference With My Attorney, Curtis

My divorce attorney, Curtis Witters, had sent me an email on Monday.  He asked me to let him know the outcome of the bond hearing.  I emailed him back after the hearing explaining that Mark was not given bond and would not be released.  He responded back with this email:

I called Paula right after I got the email.  She set up our phone conference for today at 10 AM.

114. Another Hearing - Face to Face With Mark

My anxiety from Monday's bond hearing finally was back to normal today.  Just in time to go to another hearing and to see Mark again.  Only this time he was 10 feet away.

When I originally found out that Mark had requested a bond hearing I immediately went to the court and filed a petition to modify my restraining order to include "exclusive use" of my house.

In hindsight, it was a silly thing to do.  It was just a knee jerk reaction I suppose.  Because, in reality, had Mark gotten out I most likely would have left Florida.  I realized that after I filed for the petition, but by then it was too late.  Once you file for modification you must appear.  If you don't appear then you are in contempt of court and can be arrested. 

113. Mark's Bond Hearing - Take 2 - Incredible Stress and Relief

After last week, and what turned out to be a dress rehearsal of Mark's bail hearing, I really thought I would be far less stressed for today's hearing.  I was wrong.

I knew I had to be up at 6 AM so last night I went to bed early.  I laid in bed.  My heart was beating so fast and hard I could actually hear the pounding sound in my head.  I got up 3 different times.  I finally fell asleep after 2 AM.

112. Making Sense of Non-Sense

You already know I was pretty depressed last night if you read my blog entry from yesterday.  That was then.  This is now.

I don't write much about my counseling appointments.  I have had them every single week since Mark was arrested with the exception of a couple of times due to date conflicts.  I look forward to seeing Amber.  She has a way of making me think differently.  Every time I leave my session I always feel more confident, happier, and have much less guilt.

111. Overwhelming Sadness

Well, the states attorney has not responded to my email yet.  I hate to feel like I am being bothersome or pushy, but Mark's bail hearing is Monday.  That's just four days.

If she hasn't contacted the North Palm Beach police at least by tomorrow then I doubt anyone will be there.