152. My First Group Counseling Session

I've been going to the Palm Beach County Victims Services for 10 months now.  At first I had to go every other week.  If you remember I had PTSD after living through the stalking nightmare.  Now I go every other week.  I know that still seems like a lot, but it I really need to.

There are actually group sessions once a week at the down town courthouse.  People of all types of crimes, stalking, rape, physical abuse, etc. all attend these sessions.  My psychologist, Amber, asked me to go at least 8 months ago.  It's been impossible so far.  The timing just never worked with my job.

151. What Do You MEAN You Think He Should Get Out!?

All of the guys were standing in the back chatting when I got to work today.  One of them mentioned that Ryan, my step-son, had been in the day before.  He lives in one of our apartments attached to the building, so it isn't uncommon for him to drop in.

One of them said that they were surprised at what Ryan had mentioned about what his mother said.  I said, "What did she say?"  I honestly can't remember who was talking anymore.  What I heard sent my head reeling.

150. How Do You Cope With Feeling Betrayed?

Chris, my son-in-law, will talk to me about Mark every once and awhile at work when the other guys are out on jobs and we are alone.  Sometimes it's about what to do with the company (bankruptcy), other times it's about the trial.  Most of the time it's about something that happened when Kristin has visited Mark.  Today it was about the latter.

149. Happy New Year 2014

I am spending New Years alone at home today.  I spent New Years eve alone at home tonight.  No, I'm not looking for sympathy.  Far from it.  I am very content to be here with my furry and feathered kids in this quiet and peaceful house.

Mark's trial should happen in about 2 months and that part will be over.  Hopefully, my divorce will be final this year too. And, hopefully what ever is going to happen with the business will be settled as well.

 Everything is still baby steps for me.  I just can't help feel this is going to be a great year for me. I hope what I feel comes true.

148. The Most Wonderful Christmas Ever

This honestly was the most amazing Christmas for me.  It's the first time in over a decade that I looked forward to Christmas.  And, we had it at my new place this year which is also a huge change.  I haven't had Christmas at my house for several years.

The tree you see above was put up by my daughter Megan and myself right after Thanksgiving dinner when we got home.  I couldn't believe how excited I was to decorate this year.  At the old house, I had 3 foot, pre-decorated fake Kmart tree at the old house.  Every year I would pull the tree out of a closet and plop it on the formal dining room table.  That tree, a couple of snow globes and a few strands of garland has been the extent of my decorating since 2005.

147. Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Get Out of Solitary

Today was Mark's rescheduled 'status' hearing.  If you read Friday's post then you will understand why this was rescheduled.

I did not attend the hearing.  But, I did send an email to Jenica, the states attorney, to find out what happened.  She was in court all day, but emailed me back in the afternoon to let me know the outcome.

146. Mark Freaked Out The Poor Judge

Susan, one of my victims advocates, called me today.  She went to Mark's 'status' check this morning to reschedule Mark's trial.  Mark was in the courtroom, but the original judge, Judge Rapp, was not there.

Susan said a substitute judge went ahead and started the hearing.  Mark's public defender was the first to talk.  She requested that Mark's phone privileges be reinstated so he could be moved from solitary to general population in the jail.  She gave the expected speech of how Mark has been a model inmate and does not pose a threat.