91. Another Sunday. Another Jail Visit.

It's Sunday, so Kristin went to see Mark.  I know he is her dad.  And, I also know she feels sorry for him.  It is just hard on me to feel like she is an advocate for him.  He abused her too in all of this, as well as throughout the years.

My counselor, Amber, did explain to me that Mark is a master manipulator.  He chooses people that have an enabler mentality (just like me).  He knows Kristin has a good  heart.  She wants to help him in hopes that he will "get better."  What she doesn't see yet is that he uses people to get what he needs.  I hope she does in time.

85. More Abuse - This Time By Claude

This afternoon was calm for me because I knew Mark wouldn't be getting out of jail any time soon.  Chris was running out to get ice cream for everyone and asked if I wanted some.  I usually say no. Today I decided to treat myself as if I had a small victory.

Chris returned with my chocolate chip scoop.  Right after the second bite I knew something was wrong.  One of the 'chips' wouldn't chew.  It was hard - too hard.  I spit it out in my mouth.  Lo' and behold I was staring at part of my molar.  I immediately called the dentist, but unfortunately he couldn't see me until Monday.  Just my luck.

82. John the Barber Causes Anxiety

Today was just like any other normal Tuesday.  That is until "John the Barber" called Kristin on her drive home.  We call him that because he used to be a barber across the street from our shop.

Mark has known John for more then 30 years.  So, when John retired Mark decided to hire him and teach him locksmithing.  Let's just say that John is more artistic then mechanically inclined.  He didn't last here for more then a few months.

Kristin had called me on her way home from work.  She sounded happy, upbeat and asked if I would stop at Walgreen's to pick up her prescription since I had to drive right by the store.  I told her I was happy to do so.

74. Mental Abuse and Me

Today was my appointment with my counselor, Amber, with the Victim's Services Unit.  I must say I really like her.  For the first time I feel like someone really understands what is in my heart and my head.

Amber makes me think about a lot of things in a different way.  For instance, I was all for moving to Loxahatchee, but it wasn't even a couple of months that we lived there that Mark went wildly manic the first time in 2003.  In the past ten years following our move I have allowed myself to be alienated from my family.

73. Tears and Anger

• I have had only one counseling appointment.  In that first session she told me she was going to teach me to stop blaming myself for the things Mark has done.  I'm looking forward to that, because lI woke up at least five times last night.   After seeing Mark like that yesterday, it was very depressing. The guilt creeped in.  I was in tears most of the night.  
  

  
  I hate to admit that it was a bit helpful to me to know that Chris felt the very same way.  When we got to work he told me that he woke up several times during the night after seeing Mark like that.
  
  

  This morning at work Mark's brother Bruce called me at work.  He told me that Mark had called him after court yesterday.  Mark told his brother that "Diana is going to be arrested soon for the Discover fraud."  I think believe I previously told you about how Mark had cancelled my card right after I left.  Then he ordered a new one to be sent to the house (where I do not live) and started using the card in my name.  Mark then reported me to Discover for fraud.