- I have had only one counseling appointment. In that first session she told me she was going to teach me to stop blaming myself for the things Mark has done. I'm looking forward to that, because lI woke up at least five times last night. After seeing Mark like that yesterday, it was very depressing. The guilt creeped in. I was in tears most of the night.
I hate to admit that it was a bit helpful to me to know that Chris felt the very same way. When we got to work he told me that he woke up several times during the night after seeing Mark like that.
This morning at work Mark's brother Bruce called me at work. He told me that Mark had called him after court yesterday. Mark told his brother that "Diana is going to be arrested soon for the Discover fraud." I think believe I previously told you about how Mark had cancelled my card right after I left. Then he ordered a new one to be sent to the house (where I do not live) and started using the card in my name. Mark then reported me to Discover for fraud.
Now that I knew Mark wasn't getting out of jail any time soon I had to figure out what to do about the house. My youngest daughter, Megan, called me 2 days ago and offered to stay at my house. I certainly don't want to be there. It makes me nauseous. Megan said she (and her boyfriend Claude) need a break from living with his mom. She said if I let her move in there for a month or two she would clean it up and box up everything for me in lieu of rent.
Claude isn't in high regard with anyone in our family. Mostly because he has let Megan support him for the past 11 years. They got together when she was 18. She is now 29 and still supports him. He hasn't worked at all in three years. And, before that, he rarely worked for the previous eight years. Even so, I have done my very best to accept him. Megan is an adult and I cannot make choices for her life for her.
So, when Megan made this offer, I was thrilled. I do not want to clean up Mark's mess. I have spent the last eighteen years cleaning up his messes in more ways then one. I was going to have to hire a company which would cost a LOT. I actually felt relief to know she offered to do this.
The problem with all of this is that my oldest daughter, Kristin, had previously had mentioned that she and I and Megan (my youngest) could go out there and start cleaning it up together. I had never given her an answer. I couldn't. Again, I don't WANT to do it. It isn't because I am lazy. It is because I DIDN'T MAKE THAT MESS. It is disgusting. It makes me sick to be there.
So, Megan offered to do this. Kristin found out about it, Tonight after work Kristin said, "Mom we need to talk." I drove with her to pick up Chinese food. On the way she started lecturing me on why I was wrong to allow Megan and Claude to live there for any reason. It was completely obvious that Kristin was quite angry with me.
I just kept telling Kristin that I was fine with Megan there. And, I certainly appreciated the help. I currently have no choice but to make the house payment. I cant turn off the power or gas. My attorney said I cant change anything yet because of the divorce. Megan is helping me out and I am helping her out. So, why not?
There was nothing I could say that would make Kristin OK with this. I just stopped talking and quit trying.
Needless to say the rest of the night was pretty quite. No one talked to one another.
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