93. Why Are You Panicking - AGAIN!?

I like to think of myself as a logical person.  I do my best to remain calm in most situations.  Lately, I have found that no matter how grounded you are it is impossible to control your emotions.  I had  tried to keep my stress at a minimum last night, but still woke up several times. And, today I had the ultimate panic attack.

Today was supposed to be Mark's arraignment at 1:30 P.M. at the Palm Beach County Sheriff Department courthouse on Gun Club road.  I had a dentist appointment to be fitted for a crown, so that took my mind off of everything for the first part of the morning.  But, I could feel myself getting slightly more stressed as 1:30 rolled around.

I kept reminding myself, 'Diana STOP IT!.'  You are signed up for the VINE program.  You have Susan -(your victim's advocate), Jen - (your states attorney) and of course you can call the jail at anytime for updates. Right?


2:00 P.M. - 3:00 P.M. - No News... 3:30 P.M... Why is my chest hurting?  Why is my stomach in knots?

Instead of sitting here at my desk like a victim I decided to be proactive.  I called Susan.  No answer.  I left a message.  I called Jen. No Answer.  I left a message.  I called the jail.  They gave me another number which was non-stop busy.  I emailed Susan:

3:45 P.M. - 4:00 P.M. - Why is my heart pounding?  Why can't I catch my breath??  STOP IT DIANA! Surely SOMEONE would call you if something happened!!!

Next thing I know I get a Google message from  my daughter, Megan:

I had a teeny weenie bit of relief to know that at least my oldest daughter, Kristin, was somehow able to find out that the arraignment was cancelled, so he would still be in jail.  Kristin did not text me back.  I also still have no idea who she talked to.

Immediately after receiving Megan's messages, I got a response from Susan via email:

Susan is a very sweet, understanding lady.  I don't blame her one bit for my panic attack.  However, I would certainly like to know why no one from the state's attorney's office did not contact me to let me know the hearing was cancelled, or if it had not been, what had happened in it?

This was certainly a stressful day for me, but at least it's over.