Chris's mom left today to fly to Tucson. His sister is visiting there, so she is meeting her and her husband for a few days before they all fly back to Australia. Chris came in later after driving her to the Ft. Lauderdale airport.
Mark's rescheduled psychiatrist appointment was today. I told myself this one is "make or break." I wanted to see if he could be put on disability. I kind of assumed he would call me and tell me that he cancelled it again. Instead, he called me to tell me that he needed a ride.
Remember his car isn't running, he still doesn't have his drivers license, and his work van probably wouldn't make it without breaking down. Honestly, I didn't even want him to try to drive his van. If he were to get into an accident in the All-Safe van we most likely would be sued. So, like the great little enabler that I am I agreed to drive out there. I told him I would be there by 12:45ish. His appointment was at 1:30.
Before I left work I got a bank deposit ready. I figured I could zip into the bank on the way. That was a mistake. It took 10 minutes in the bank. When I finally arrived in Loxahatchee it was 1:00. I wasn't too concerned when I got there, because I ASSumed he would be ready to go. Silly me.
When I walked into my house the first thing I noticed was two HUGE piles of dog poop on the hardwood floor hall way. It was very apparent that at least one pile had been there for quite awhile. It was dried and flies were everywhere. I didn't see Mark anywhere and the master bedroom door was shut. I started to walk towards the bedroom and in the corner of my eye I saw something. I stopped and saw two more piles of dog poop in the game room.
Then it dawned on me. I hadn't seen Jet (the puppy). Usually he runs to greet me when I get there. I honestly think he is excited to see another human being other then just Mark. I turned around and went back the way I came past the dining room. There I found two more piles of dog poop in the hall on the floor. I had found a total of six piles. They were not there on Monday when I was there cleaning.
I started calling for Jet. Then I walked towards the kitchen door that leads into the garage and called his name again. I looked out the door and saw Jet hiding in the far back corner of the garage. I called his name again and he finally came running.
Mark came out of the bedroom and didn't see me at first. I said, "Hello" and he jumped. He saw me with Jet. He said, "Yeah he's been a very bad boy. It's almost like he is the owner now." I couldn't help but think that poor puppy hadn't been let out of the house in a few days. What is happening? Is Mark not letting him out and Jet has no choice but to poop in the house? And, after he does, is Mark scolding him? Why else would Jet be hiding in the garage? My mind was racing.
Then I noticed Mark had a towel wrapped around him. He was still soaking wet. He had just gotten out of the shower. I told him, "We must leave right now! If we leave now we will just make it." He said, "You were supposed to be here at 12:45. You're 15 minutes late." I said, "So? I left work to come get you. I had to stop by the bank on the way. Why aren't you ready?" He said, "After all of the years you have kept me waiting, it's my turn to make you wait."
I decided to clean up the piles of poop in the house. I am now kicking myself, because I should have taken pictures first. I was just so disgusted that I couldn't stand it and didn't think of it. Mark still wasn't ready after I had cleaned up all of the piles. He was intentionally making me wait. I became even more angry when I saw the kitchen. Remember I had spent hours cleaning it on Saturday and Monday? It was already a mess again. Granted, it wasn't a total disaster yet, but it was well on the way.
Mark made several more rude comments. I finally told him, "OK I'm leaving. If you want a ride then come. If not, that's fine too." He put Jet in his dog pen, but didn't come to the door. I walked out, went straight to my car and did not look back. As I got into my car he opened the garage and yelled, "I'm coming." While he was walking to the car I called Dr. Agresti's office to tell them what had happened. The nurse said, "Don't worry about being late. Just get him here."
It was very difficult not to hide my disgust as we were driving to Dr. Agresti's. Mark was now talking about buying a new Corvette again. He stated, "Can you believe I am getting a $150,000 Corvette for $50,000? AND, my payment is only $20/month." I said, "Actually, no. I don't believe it." Mark then replied, "Dammit. I wish I had brought my Xanax. I always need to pop four when I am around you." He kept making ridiculous statements all of the way to the office. It was obvious he was full blown manic.
All of a sudden he made a comment that made me very sad. He said, "No one ever comes to see me. I am out there in BFE (Bum fuct egypt) all alone with Jet and no one ever comes to see me. Not even Rickie or Paulie (the workers that were ripping him off) come to see me. Why are people afraid of me?" I tried to think of a way to answer, but thought better of it. How could I answer this without sounding "mean"? I knew it was a lost cause, so I just stayed quiet. Even after all I have been through, this still hurt my heart very much. He is sick and doesn't understand.
When we parked he said he was going to stay in the car for a few minutes. I knew there was no point arguing, so I went in and told the receptionist we were there, but Mark was outside. The receptionist told me to get Mark and go to Dr. Agresti's office about 10 minutes later.
We walked in and sat down. Mark asked if he could close the door. The doctor told him he could, but then Mark changed his mind. Dr. Agresti started with his normal, "So, how are things going?" I don't know if it was the look on my face, or that Mark was looking off into space, but he didn't wait for an answer.
The doctor looked at me and asked, "Are things any better at all?" I told him, "No. After two months, he is still as manic as he was the day he came in. I don't know if he is taking his meds. And if he is, he isn't taking them correctly. He is still drinking heavily, which now includes hard liquor. He is still smoking pot. He is still taking Xanax (which he pops like tic tacs throughout the day). He has trashed our house. He has indirectly threatened my life. He has now threatened the life of Rickie on Facebook - telling him he was going to take his guy and shoot him. He also posted on Rickie's wife's wall, stating that Rickie was having multiple affairs. He has maxed out all of the credit cards with the exception of Discover - I am not sure how he is still charging to this, but I cannot see it since he took me off the account. He is doing his very best to bankrupt us, whether realizing it or not. And finally, he has not worked in two months." I then asked him if it was possible to get him on disability and off of All-Safe's payroll.
The doctor answered saying, "Yes, Mark definitely is a candidate for disability." He continued, "Mark, it is obvious these meds are not working for you. I want to add lithium to your current meds. Mark said, "No." The doctor wrote the prescription anyway and handed it to him. Then Dr. Agresti said, "Mark, I cannot Baker-Act you, because Florida laws will not allow me to. But, I am asking you to please consider letting me hospitalize you for a short time, no longer then a month, to help you." Mark responded, "No." Mark was looking at the ceiling, the floor and out of the window. It was like he wasn't even really there.
Dr. Agresti then looked directly at me and said, "You need to save yourself. When you first came here, Mark was teetering on the edge of a cliff with his feet slightly already over the edge. He has now gone over the edge. The Mark you knew is gone. There is nothing more you can do to help him. I would suggest you file for divorce as soon as you can. Save yourself and what little assets you may have left."
Then Dr. Agresti said, "Mark, you do understand that you have chosen this? You are losing your wife, your business, your house and most all of your assets? I would suspect if you do not choose to allow me to hospitalize you that in a little over a month you will either be dead, kill or injure someone else, and eventually be indigent. If you do not allow me to hospitalize you, most likely you will end up in jail and then the police will make you go into the hospital, but then you will have already lost everything." Mark was sitting right there, yet he didn't seem to hear a single word.
The doctor stood up and showed us to the front of the office. I asked if I should make another appointment. He told me not to bother. He said that if Mark refuses to even try to help himself there was no reason. So, we left.
I realized why Mark had not come in right away to his appointment when I opened the door to the car. Every single thing in my glove compartment and my middle dash had been pulled out and thrown on the passenger floor. I am not sure what he was looking for, maybe money. He obviously didn't find what he was looking for.
Mark then told me to drop him off at Schumacher Chevrolet. He said, "They have my new Corvette waiting for me." I knew he had been pre-approved for a car, but I also knew that he had no down payment and no license. The car dealership cannot release a car without a license. I said, "Mark, you do understand they cannot give you a car?" He replied, "I have a copy of my license." I started to explain that wouldn't work, but thought better of it. It is like talking to a wall. Instead, I said, "OK Mark. I will drop you off at Schumacher. But, be very sure that this is what you want me to do. You will have no way home (it is a 20 minute drive). And, I won't be able to come back to get you. The guys in the shop also will not be able to come take you home. They are all working." He said, "I won't need a ride."
I pulled into the Schumacher parking lot. Mark got out with his huge black duffel bag. The sales agents swarmed on top of him like fleas. I started to pull out, but noticed one of them stayed behind so I waved at her. She came over. I said, "That is my estranged husband. I dropped him off here as a favor. He is bi-polar, currently very manic and just left his psychiatrist office. He has no money for a down payment and he has no license." The lady said, "I'm just the receptionist." I said, "Honestly, it doesn't matter what you do. I highly suggest you let those men that walked him in there what is going on before this goes on too long. Once he realizes they aren't going to give him the car he will become angry. Please tell them not to hesitate to call the police." Then I left and went back to the shop.
I told Chris everything that had happened when I got back to the shop. I also told him that when Mark calls not to answer. I asked him to call the other two techs and ask them not to answer Mark's calls as well. Just like clockwork, Mark called within ten minutes of me returning to the shop. We ignored it.
I called my attorney's office and told them I needed to file right away. She told me to get to the court house and file "pro-Se" and she would adjust it later. I made an appointment to see her on Monday. Then, I raced out of the shop and drove to the courthouse as fast as I could. On the way there I called my sister Cheryl to tell her what was going on. I thought I actually heard her 'cheer' when I told her I was going to file.
It was finally my turn after waiting nearly 40 minutes. The lady handed me the packet which was about 2 inches thick. I said, "I'm going to go over here and fill this out." She smiled at me and said, "I don't think so." I was confused. She continued, "There are several forms in there that have to be notarized. Also, every single page of that packet has to be copied. We close in 35 minutes."
Every single part of me wanted to get this done. I went to the counter anyway. As I started thumbing through I started to feel sick. There was so much information to be filled out. Much of this information I did not have with me. I had finally got the courage to 'just do it' and I failed. Not to mention the fact that after that appointment with Dr. Agresti I highly suspected Mark would do something stupid over the weekend. I knew I had no choice but to wait until I saw my attorney on Monday. What a let-down.
When I walked in the shop Chris told me Mark had continued to call when I was gone. He said, "Mark got smart and didn't use his cell phone. He must have used someone else's because I didn't recognize the number and answered. He asked for you. I told him you had left and I didn't know if you were coming back. I also told him the other techs were all on jobs until the end of the day and couldn't leave." Chris said that Mark responded, "Fine. I'll call a cab." I guess he must have called a cab, or at least found a ride. He did make it home.
Megan stopped by my motel to see me and we talked for a couple of hours. It was nice, because it is very lonely here. After the day I had I needed someone to talk to. All I can say is Monday will be an interesting day.
Mark's rescheduled psychiatrist appointment was today. I told myself this one is "make or break." I wanted to see if he could be put on disability. I kind of assumed he would call me and tell me that he cancelled it again. Instead, he called me to tell me that he needed a ride.
Remember his car isn't running, he still doesn't have his drivers license, and his work van probably wouldn't make it without breaking down. Honestly, I didn't even want him to try to drive his van. If he were to get into an accident in the All-Safe van we most likely would be sued. So, like the great little enabler that I am I agreed to drive out there. I told him I would be there by 12:45ish. His appointment was at 1:30.
Before I left work I got a bank deposit ready. I figured I could zip into the bank on the way. That was a mistake. It took 10 minutes in the bank. When I finally arrived in Loxahatchee it was 1:00. I wasn't too concerned when I got there, because I ASSumed he would be ready to go. Silly me.
When I walked into my house the first thing I noticed was two HUGE piles of dog poop on the hardwood floor hall way. It was very apparent that at least one pile had been there for quite awhile. It was dried and flies were everywhere. I didn't see Mark anywhere and the master bedroom door was shut. I started to walk towards the bedroom and in the corner of my eye I saw something. I stopped and saw two more piles of dog poop in the game room.
Then it dawned on me. I hadn't seen Jet (the puppy). Usually he runs to greet me when I get there. I honestly think he is excited to see another human being other then just Mark. I turned around and went back the way I came past the dining room. There I found two more piles of dog poop in the hall on the floor. I had found a total of six piles. They were not there on Monday when I was there cleaning.
I started calling for Jet. Then I walked towards the kitchen door that leads into the garage and called his name again. I looked out the door and saw Jet hiding in the far back corner of the garage. I called his name again and he finally came running.
Mark came out of the bedroom and didn't see me at first. I said, "Hello" and he jumped. He saw me with Jet. He said, "Yeah he's been a very bad boy. It's almost like he is the owner now." I couldn't help but think that poor puppy hadn't been let out of the house in a few days. What is happening? Is Mark not letting him out and Jet has no choice but to poop in the house? And, after he does, is Mark scolding him? Why else would Jet be hiding in the garage? My mind was racing.
Then I noticed Mark had a towel wrapped around him. He was still soaking wet. He had just gotten out of the shower. I told him, "We must leave right now! If we leave now we will just make it." He said, "You were supposed to be here at 12:45. You're 15 minutes late." I said, "So? I left work to come get you. I had to stop by the bank on the way. Why aren't you ready?" He said, "After all of the years you have kept me waiting, it's my turn to make you wait."
I decided to clean up the piles of poop in the house. I am now kicking myself, because I should have taken pictures first. I was just so disgusted that I couldn't stand it and didn't think of it. Mark still wasn't ready after I had cleaned up all of the piles. He was intentionally making me wait. I became even more angry when I saw the kitchen. Remember I had spent hours cleaning it on Saturday and Monday? It was already a mess again. Granted, it wasn't a total disaster yet, but it was well on the way.
Mark made several more rude comments. I finally told him, "OK I'm leaving. If you want a ride then come. If not, that's fine too." He put Jet in his dog pen, but didn't come to the door. I walked out, went straight to my car and did not look back. As I got into my car he opened the garage and yelled, "I'm coming." While he was walking to the car I called Dr. Agresti's office to tell them what had happened. The nurse said, "Don't worry about being late. Just get him here."
It was very difficult not to hide my disgust as we were driving to Dr. Agresti's. Mark was now talking about buying a new Corvette again. He stated, "Can you believe I am getting a $150,000 Corvette for $50,000? AND, my payment is only $20/month." I said, "Actually, no. I don't believe it." Mark then replied, "Dammit. I wish I had brought my Xanax. I always need to pop four when I am around you." He kept making ridiculous statements all of the way to the office. It was obvious he was full blown manic.
All of a sudden he made a comment that made me very sad. He said, "No one ever comes to see me. I am out there in BFE (Bum fuct egypt) all alone with Jet and no one ever comes to see me. Not even Rickie or Paulie (the workers that were ripping him off) come to see me. Why are people afraid of me?" I tried to think of a way to answer, but thought better of it. How could I answer this without sounding "mean"? I knew it was a lost cause, so I just stayed quiet. Even after all I have been through, this still hurt my heart very much. He is sick and doesn't understand.
When we parked he said he was going to stay in the car for a few minutes. I knew there was no point arguing, so I went in and told the receptionist we were there, but Mark was outside. The receptionist told me to get Mark and go to Dr. Agresti's office about 10 minutes later.
We walked in and sat down. Mark asked if he could close the door. The doctor told him he could, but then Mark changed his mind. Dr. Agresti started with his normal, "So, how are things going?" I don't know if it was the look on my face, or that Mark was looking off into space, but he didn't wait for an answer.
The doctor looked at me and asked, "Are things any better at all?" I told him, "No. After two months, he is still as manic as he was the day he came in. I don't know if he is taking his meds. And if he is, he isn't taking them correctly. He is still drinking heavily, which now includes hard liquor. He is still smoking pot. He is still taking Xanax (which he pops like tic tacs throughout the day). He has trashed our house. He has indirectly threatened my life. He has now threatened the life of Rickie on Facebook - telling him he was going to take his guy and shoot him. He also posted on Rickie's wife's wall, stating that Rickie was having multiple affairs. He has maxed out all of the credit cards with the exception of Discover - I am not sure how he is still charging to this, but I cannot see it since he took me off the account. He is doing his very best to bankrupt us, whether realizing it or not. And finally, he has not worked in two months." I then asked him if it was possible to get him on disability and off of All-Safe's payroll.
The doctor answered saying, "Yes, Mark definitely is a candidate for disability." He continued, "Mark, it is obvious these meds are not working for you. I want to add lithium to your current meds. Mark said, "No." The doctor wrote the prescription anyway and handed it to him. Then Dr. Agresti said, "Mark, I cannot Baker-Act you, because Florida laws will not allow me to. But, I am asking you to please consider letting me hospitalize you for a short time, no longer then a month, to help you." Mark responded, "No." Mark was looking at the ceiling, the floor and out of the window. It was like he wasn't even really there.
Dr. Agresti then looked directly at me and said, "You need to save yourself. When you first came here, Mark was teetering on the edge of a cliff with his feet slightly already over the edge. He has now gone over the edge. The Mark you knew is gone. There is nothing more you can do to help him. I would suggest you file for divorce as soon as you can. Save yourself and what little assets you may have left."
Then Dr. Agresti said, "Mark, you do understand that you have chosen this? You are losing your wife, your business, your house and most all of your assets? I would suspect if you do not choose to allow me to hospitalize you that in a little over a month you will either be dead, kill or injure someone else, and eventually be indigent. If you do not allow me to hospitalize you, most likely you will end up in jail and then the police will make you go into the hospital, but then you will have already lost everything." Mark was sitting right there, yet he didn't seem to hear a single word.
The doctor stood up and showed us to the front of the office. I asked if I should make another appointment. He told me not to bother. He said that if Mark refuses to even try to help himself there was no reason. So, we left.
I realized why Mark had not come in right away to his appointment when I opened the door to the car. Every single thing in my glove compartment and my middle dash had been pulled out and thrown on the passenger floor. I am not sure what he was looking for, maybe money. He obviously didn't find what he was looking for.
Mark then told me to drop him off at Schumacher Chevrolet. He said, "They have my new Corvette waiting for me." I knew he had been pre-approved for a car, but I also knew that he had no down payment and no license. The car dealership cannot release a car without a license. I said, "Mark, you do understand they cannot give you a car?" He replied, "I have a copy of my license." I started to explain that wouldn't work, but thought better of it. It is like talking to a wall. Instead, I said, "OK Mark. I will drop you off at Schumacher. But, be very sure that this is what you want me to do. You will have no way home (it is a 20 minute drive). And, I won't be able to come back to get you. The guys in the shop also will not be able to come take you home. They are all working." He said, "I won't need a ride."
I pulled into the Schumacher parking lot. Mark got out with his huge black duffel bag. The sales agents swarmed on top of him like fleas. I started to pull out, but noticed one of them stayed behind so I waved at her. She came over. I said, "That is my estranged husband. I dropped him off here as a favor. He is bi-polar, currently very manic and just left his psychiatrist office. He has no money for a down payment and he has no license." The lady said, "I'm just the receptionist." I said, "Honestly, it doesn't matter what you do. I highly suggest you let those men that walked him in there what is going on before this goes on too long. Once he realizes they aren't going to give him the car he will become angry. Please tell them not to hesitate to call the police." Then I left and went back to the shop.
I told Chris everything that had happened when I got back to the shop. I also told him that when Mark calls not to answer. I asked him to call the other two techs and ask them not to answer Mark's calls as well. Just like clockwork, Mark called within ten minutes of me returning to the shop. We ignored it.
I called my attorney's office and told them I needed to file right away. She told me to get to the court house and file "pro-Se" and she would adjust it later. I made an appointment to see her on Monday. Then, I raced out of the shop and drove to the courthouse as fast as I could. On the way there I called my sister Cheryl to tell her what was going on. I thought I actually heard her 'cheer' when I told her I was going to file.
It was finally my turn after waiting nearly 40 minutes. The lady handed me the packet which was about 2 inches thick. I said, "I'm going to go over here and fill this out." She smiled at me and said, "I don't think so." I was confused. She continued, "There are several forms in there that have to be notarized. Also, every single page of that packet has to be copied. We close in 35 minutes."
Every single part of me wanted to get this done. I went to the counter anyway. As I started thumbing through I started to feel sick. There was so much information to be filled out. Much of this information I did not have with me. I had finally got the courage to 'just do it' and I failed. Not to mention the fact that after that appointment with Dr. Agresti I highly suspected Mark would do something stupid over the weekend. I knew I had no choice but to wait until I saw my attorney on Monday. What a let-down.
When I walked in the shop Chris told me Mark had continued to call when I was gone. He said, "Mark got smart and didn't use his cell phone. He must have used someone else's because I didn't recognize the number and answered. He asked for you. I told him you had left and I didn't know if you were coming back. I also told him the other techs were all on jobs until the end of the day and couldn't leave." Chris said that Mark responded, "Fine. I'll call a cab." I guess he must have called a cab, or at least found a ride. He did make it home.
Megan stopped by my motel to see me and we talked for a couple of hours. It was nice, because it is very lonely here. After the day I had I needed someone to talk to. All I can say is Monday will be an interesting day.
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