I had planned for a week to go to my house on Thursday to get as much as I could before Mark was 'served.' So, on Tuesday I rented a 5x10 storage shed. They had a special that gave you a truck with your first rental for free. I was happy about the free rental. I need to save money wherever I can right now.
I had not told Mark ahead of time that Megan and I were coming out. On Wednesday, the before we were scheduled to go there I started receiving emails from Mark:
Wednesday, 6:19 PM
Wednesday, 6:46 PM
Wednesday, 7:24 PM
I did find that this would be a good opportunity to inform Mark we would be there the next day without calling him. So, I sent him the following email:
Wednesday, 7:58 PM
He responded:
Wednesday, 8:21 PM
Then my email went quiet until later that evening.
Wednesday, 10:50 PM
This morning it seems he had time to actually realize we were coming. So, he started making up stories, both of which were not true:
Thursday, 5:30 AM
I didn't respond to either email. I went to the storage place, rented the shed and got my truck. By the time I finished filling out all of the papers it was 10:30 AM. Next, I went to Megan's. She only lives one mile from my house. I picked her up and we headed off to my house.
Everyone was concerned with me going to the house. Megan had called the sheriff's department a few days before to make sure they could come on a moments notice if needed. I hadn't slept well at all for the days leading up to this, as I knew there was a possibility the entire scenario could go south very quickly.
When Megan and I arrived it was just after 11:00 AM. We backed the truck into the driveway then went into the house. Mark was very calm when we arrived. We said our 'hello's to Mark' and got the storage boxes, dolly and tape ready.
Megan got to see my house first hand. I tell everyone what it looks like inside. I even show people pictures. But, it just isn't the same as standing in the middle of all of it. Fortunately, this time there was only two piles of dog poop on the hardwood floor. This time I didn't clean it up.
My priority for this day was to get my mom's china, silver, my precious moments and David Winter Cottages. I have no idea what the china and silver are worth. I really don't care if they are worth nothing. They were given to me when my mother died. For that reason alone they are precious to my sister and I. The precious moments and cottages were gifts given to me by my family, children and friends over the past 30 years. Again, they are not worth a whole lot, except in my heart.
I felt quite overwhelmed when looking at all of the trash around me. The kitchen I had spent cleaning nearly an entire day just a week and a half before was a complete disaster again. The piles of trash everywhere made it hard to know exactly where to start. Leave it to Megan to take charge. She walked over to the china closet and started pulling out piles of plates and saucers. She grabbed a stack of wrapping paper and just started wrapping like a mad woman. I can only equate the swiftness as to how she was doing this to an I Love Lucy show and an assembly line. I have never seen someone work so fast.
I helped Megan wrap and box china and silver. Every once and awhile I would wander off to a room or closet to grab some mementos and wrap then up. It took over two hours to wrap up all of the china, silver, cottages & precious moments and get them safely stacked in the boxes.
Megan reads my blog and understands about "Jekyll and Hyde." The entire time we were there, she was sweet, kind, laughed when she felt it was appropriate and treated Mark as any loving daughter would treat their daddy. She wanted to make sure Jekyll stayed with us and Hyde didn't show up.
While we were boxing things up, Mark was wandering in and out of the dining room. He seemed to start getting annoyed that I hadn't cleaned up the dog poop. Megan like the champ she is, picked up on this right away and decided it was best just to do it so he wouldn't get more upset.
After all of the dining room was finished, Megan grabbed the dolly and started to take things to the truck. When she returned we went to my bedroom to get anything in there I had forgot on my previous visits. By this time we had hit hour number three. Mark was going downhill fast. Hyde was doing his best to come out. He turned on every single stereo in the house, patio, bedrooms, game room, front porch, garage and gym full blast. He played the song, "Lying Eyes" by the Eagles, over and over. He followed me to every room I went in with a chair and would sit there and watch. A few times he stood up and screamed the song at me. I tried to smile and ignore him. I will admit it did shake me up a lot.
Megan kept saying to me, "Mom we really need to go." She could also see he was becoming more and more manic as the day went on. But, I knew this most likely would be my last chance for a very long time to actually go in there and get the little things that mean a lot to me. We went in my bedroom and got my jewelry box that I have had since early 80's. It has so many memories in it I wanted to take it with me. Mark had already gone through it, so I don't know what is left in there, but I wanted it none-the-less. I also grabbed the porcelain dolls that my mama had made for my girls right before she died. They are something that can never be replaced.
When we finally decided there really was nothing left we could get we decided to leave. There was no way we could take my mom's grandfather clock, dining room table and hutch. If they survive, they are something I will have to try to get much later. We finished packing the truck and started to say goodbye to Mark. I asked him if he had enough food. He said that he was fine, but that Jet was out of food. He said he had been feeding Jet eggs. Megan and I looked at each other. She knew what I was going to say next. I asked Mark if he wanted us to run up and get some dog food for Jet. Remember, he has no usable transportation. His work van is there, but I doubt it would make it to town. He seemed very happy we asked. He then made a small list of things he needed. Megan and I went off to the store.
Upon our return Mark was very upbeat and happy. Jekyll was back. Mark is like a child right now. If you are sunshine and light to him, he is happy and nice. If you (these are his words) 'mean to him' he is angry, hurtful and outrageous. He was happy now, because in his eyes we did something nice for him by going to the store. We brought in the groceries and dog food. We asked if he needed help putting it away and he said no.
As Megan and I started to leave again he pulled me back and said, "Thank you for doing this. I love you very much. Oh, and I wanted to let you know that I made a big payment on the USAA Mastercard from Paypal." I immediately started feeling my face get red and did everything to not let myself get angry. I just responded with, "No, Mark. You didn't make a large payment from 'Paypal'. You used the company checking account to try to make a $6,500 payment and a $500 payment from our personal checking account to pay on our personal credit card. I found out about it in time. I stopped the $6,500 from the company account." He honestly looked shocked. He said, "I did that?" I assured him he did. Once again Megan and I left. It was nearly 5:00 PM.
There were a few things my attorney asked me to do that I didn't. One, she wanted me to get my cable box out of there and turn it in. It is the only thing in the house that is in my name, besides the mortgage. There was no way I was walking out with that box. Mark was watching everything we took, as I said above. Not to mention, if I took that box he would be without internet and a telephone. My attorney also asked me to either take the puppy or call the ASPCA. But again, there was no way I was walking out with that puppy. He seemed to be much better then the last time I was there. Perhaps it was just my wishful thinking, but I do believe Megan thought the same thing too. Jet is the only thing Mark has.
Megan and I drove to the storage place which is in the new town where I live with my other daughter, Kristin and her husband Chris. I already knew I had rented a far too big shed when we left the house. All in all I left there with maybe 5 big boxes and other assorted little nic nacs. Megan and I went into the storage facility office to see if I could get a smaller space. Fortunately, they let me do it, so I downgraded to a 5X5. Megan helped me move everything into the new storage. It was a good thing we got the smaller space. My stuff only filled one corner after everything was put in. I joked with Megan that my life of 52 years has been reduced to a 5x5 space and I couldn't even fill that up.
Megan sat with me for quite awhile after we were finished. I couldn't stop crying. For the first time I knew she understood. She told me she understood. No one reading this blog will ever understand. It's easy to place judgement on Mark. It is easy to read what I write and think, "HOW HORRIFIC!" There is no doubt that it really is. The difference is he is very sick, he is very sad and no doubt very confused. This is where my sadness comes in.
I know I am doing what 'I must do'. I realize he has given me no choice. I understand that the situation is hopeless, especially since he refuses hospitalization. The fact is that if he had beat me, or had an affair this would be so much easier on me. The fact that he is so very sick makes it heartbreaking for me. Megan finally understood this for herself today.
Megan when you read this, please know that you were my "Super Woman" today. You were a rock for me when I really needed it so very much. Thank you so much.
Tomorrow Mark will be served his divorce papers. I have been so stressed about today, yet today didn't turn out nearly as bad as it could have been. I only can hope and pray that tomorrow is the same.
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