10. He Murdered My Parrot

He murdered my 8 year old parrot.


Yeah, I know.  This is old news now.  But, I haven't seen her body.  He says he buried her. I want him to PROVE IT.  I don't know how to deal with this. I really don't.

He knows how much I loved her.  He knows how much she loved me.  She was my baby.

She was safely locked in her cage when I left the house.  The cage was covered.  He had to have walked in and taken the blanket off of the cage and open the door.

What did he do?  Stick a broom in there to scare her out?  She wouldn't come out to him on her own.  She was afraid of him.  He hated her.

He broke my baby's neck.

He said in his messages to my family and my friends that she 'flew into a ceiling fan and broke her wing. So, I had to kill her.'  This leads me to a boatload of questions that go through my mind every single day.

• How did she fly into a ceiling fan if she was SAFELY LOCKED IN HER CAGE?
• Why did he open the cage??
• If he did scare her out of the cage and she did break her wing, why did he KILL HER?
• If he can kill an innocent little being, what should I expect he could do to me?
• Should this make me worry since his brother killed his wife and himself?
• Should I forgive him because I know he is sick?
• Why should I forgive him?
• How am I supposed to ever forgive him?

I am wrestling with these thoughts every minute of every day.  I haven't been able to grieve properly, because of everything else going on.  He is at my house.  I am at my daughter's house at night.  I know her cage is still sitting there and I will be the one that has to move it out if I ever go back.  I don't know if I can.

I just don't know if I can.