Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Today started out so well. I slept pretty good last night because Kristin gave me one of her pills she has to help her sleep. I slept through the night and didn't wake up until about 6 A.M.
I was in a good mood all morning. I knew Mark's therapy appointment was today. He wasn't scheduled to see Dr. Agresti, but still he would see a therapist. His appointment was at 3 P.M. Work was very busy, so the day flew by. About 1:30 Mark text messaged me that I needed to come get him because he was too busy to drive. I didn't see the text until around 2 P.M. In the mean time, he sent a few more texts after that sort of reasoning with himself. He convinced himself he could drive and would meet me there at 2:45.
At 2 P.M., an hour before the appointment, he sent me a Facebook message asking if I was on my way. I explained to him the appointment was at 3 P.M. and I would be there at 2:45. He seemed a bit upset that I hadn't left the shop yet. He asked two more times. I was very busy that day, but I finally left at 2:35. He called me exactly at 2:45 wanting to know why I wasn't there yet. I told him I would be there in a couple of minutes. He said, "But, you said 2:45." I couldn't get through to him that I was *working*. I arrived at 2:49 and we went in.
I guess it was apparent I was stressed. He didn't sit by me and I sat and stared straight ahead. It is difficult for me to talk to him when he is manic. It's like why bother? We had to wait a very long time, about 25 minutes. Mark began to get perturbed. He said, "I'm going outside. I just know they are going to switch my therapist and somehow make me see Dr. Agresti." I told him I didn't believe that was the case. It seemed Dr. Agresti was pretty booked for the week from what I had heard. The next thing I knew Dr. Agresti pokes his head through the door and says, "Mark?" I jumped up and told the doctor I had to go outside to get him. I was also panicking, because I knew Mark would be upset having to see him.
It turns out I was right. Mark wasn't happy when we walked into Dr. Agresti's office. At the beginning of the session, Dr. Agrest asked Mark if he had taken the meds according to the way he had prescribed. Mark said, "Yes." I sat there and shook my head 'no.' He asked Mark if he was still taking them now. Mark again said, "Yes." Once again I shook my head 'no.' I honestly cannot say that he has or hasn't been, but if he has been taking them they are not working right.
Next Mark started ripping on Dr. Agrasti. Mark told him his GP and pharmacist said the prescription was far too much for him. He further stated his doctor said he probably shouldn't go there anymore. I swear it almost seemed the doctor was panicking. Dr. Agresti starting looking through his little prescription machine trying to prove himself to Mark by verifying what he prescribed, instead of just saying, "No, what I prescribed is correct." I felt like I was in bizarro world.
Then it got a bit stranger. It was like Dr. Agresti was a different person this time. He told Mark he 'seemed much calmer' this time. He discussed reef tanks with Mark. Mark showed him a picture of his old BMW roadster. Dr. Agresti in return showed him a picture of his car. It was like they were buddies. I was pretty confused.
I was even more confused when the doctor turned to me an said, "Have you moved back home yet?" Without hesitation I loudly replied, "NO!" The doctor said, "Well, that's the ultimate goal here isn't it?" I couldn't even speak. I wanted to scream, "He murdered my parrot, he cancelled every appointment after his first one and you just want me to move back in?" I just couldn't get the words out. I was shaking.
Then the doctor told Mark he really thought it would be a good idea if he were to see a counselor as well as him. Mark seemed to agree, or at least he didn't argue. Dr. Agresti walked us out to the front desk and left. The girl looked at Mark and said, "The doctor wants you to see our counselor, Joyce. What would be a good day for you?" I immediately held out and my hand and yelled, "NO. Joyce is MY counselor!" Mark said, "Yeah, I want to see Joyce. I should be able to see her counselor since she sits in with my psychiatrist."
In the meantime the clerk had sent a text to the doctor. I guess he hadn't bothered to check who my counselor was. The clerk told Mark he would be seeing Mary instead. Mark told her no. Don't bother making me an appointment. Give the time to someone that needs it. He further said, "I know all of this is important to get my life back, but I have a lot of work to do at home." Then we walked out. He went to his car and I to mine. I went back to work confused and stressed.
I talked to Kristin for quite awhile when I got home. I cried a lot. It was very difficult for me to comprehend him saying that this therapy was important to get his live back, but he was very busy at home. But, then again, he isn't thinking sanely. I keep trying to apply logic to illogical statements. It is depressing.
I stayed away from Facebook until almost 9 P.M. I just didn't want to have to see anything he sent me. Sure enough, I had messages waiting.
- Wednesday
Mark says a lot of things these days he doesn't mean. Other times he says things and means them completely. I never really know which will be the case with each passing day. So, when I saw these posts I really didn't know what to say. I responded and he also responded pretty much as I expected. with the "poor me":
To sum up today: It sucked. And, I am no longer sure I trust Dr. Agresti.
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